I’m trying to be a quitter…

31 10 2008

This was written freely and I’m not editing it yet. Why? ‘Cause I’m really annoyed and I need to get this shit out of my head.

So very recently, the board members from “The Organization” got together. We’re facing a big event, and our annual club meeting in the next, oh, 3 weeks. Yay for me. Since I’m heavily involved in the event. And the meeting, oh, yeah, that thing is ALL MINE. How? Why? I have no dang clue.

Our president has decided to resign. Leaving us with, um, NO ONE to be President. So now we’re going round and round. Who will it be? Will the VP take it? He doesn’t want it… I’m asked “You’ll be the next President of the club, right?” to which I reply, “Heck, no!” or “Who will do EVERYTHING that I do if I do that?”

But it seems it is still down to the two of us. And to be honest, I do SO much for this group. And it’s terribly exhausting. They call me the ‘Den Mother.’ And, honestly, I AM. Does it drive me freaking nuts, absolutely. Will it ever end? Not until I quit 100% and leave – go away from Pittsburgh, that is – because I seem to have this ability to store knowledge. What needs to be done when… What should happen when… Where things are… Who to call for certain things…

But what I don’t understand is HOW I came to have this information, I know I have a good command of totally useless info, but honestly sometimes all the “things I do” don’t seem like much. At. All. It’s just retaining and repeating info at certain intervals throughout the year… But more importantly, why is it that not one single freaking person besides me seems to be able to retain this information?????????? Can i write it down in a nice, little notebook and give it to someone? Please? And pray they don’t lose the notebook? I wish I could…

I tried, a few years ago, to give away the “big spring event” that we host. I gave up a binder that had everything from the previous 2-3 years. Quotes, notes, instructions, teams involved, what food to buy and costs charged and what to charge. What happened, you ask? She LOST IT on a dang AIRPLANE. Not just lost… FORGOT. Just FREAKING FORGOT IT. Please, how does that happen??? If you have an answer, and you’re one of the 4 people who read this, please tell me how, because I wanted to die when all my work was lost.

So now, I live in an apartment that is over run by “The Organization” shit. Totally taking over my space. I’m not the best housekeeper, but seriously, it’s taking over and I can’t even clean up my stuff for barriers created by all “The Organization” stuff.

And when I travel to see my family and don’t take my laptop? I have to make a DVD of every current doc we have. Just in case… Have I had to field the calls and open that DVD? Many, many times. Did I send the offending people a copy of the files before I left? Guaranteed I did.

What am I to do now? I want to give up some of my “jobs.” Most of my “jobs” really. There are really only a few that I excel at and/or enjoy. But I know that I’m going to keep being the person that knows all this garbage.

I am not sure I can accept that fact for much longer. I asked today to maybe give up the official title I have and take on a pseudo title where I do the excel/enjoy stuff, and still retain all info, but someone laughed at me. Said it’s not gonna happen.

Dang. Is there ever an off-ramp on the road I’m on?? Please????



One response

3 11 2008
Fonda Bruises

It is amazing to me how similar both of our “organizations” are. Hang in there, it will get better, you just have to say “NO”, dig your heels in and stick with it. You have to grit your teeth even when you are watching them eff up everything and totally dropping the ball. Trust me, it will be okay and the world will not end, your blood pressure, however, will go down!

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