Fantasy Football

10 10 2009

Today’s guest is @Calipanthergrl. She is one of my closest friends, and I love her for putting up with all of my situations, rugby and non. Calipanthergrl also joined me in my first few forays into Tweetups and the Yinz Team. She had no idea what she was getting into, and neither did I. But I am pretty sure both of our lives are slightly more entertaining because of it! I would also like to note that besides my family, Calipanthergrl is the ONLY person I willingly talk to on the phone. Ever. For hours on end sometimes.


“I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”

‑ The Hangover (2009)

The other day, I was browsing the cards created by the fine folks at and came across this one:


Hilarious, right?  Sadly, the only person I could think to send it to was … myself.

I love coming up with ridiculous names for my fantasy football teams.  Past years have yielded “Sugar and Spice” (I was the only girl … had to rub it in), “Mischievous Badgers” (As in, “I like to imagine Jesus as a mischievous badger …”) and “Bluegrass Princess” (Hey … I was the only girl again).  And I’m usually pretty good.  I even have the trophies on my Yahoo profile to prove it … look it up.  I’ll wait.  (Ironically, in spite of my love for MCBB, my performance in NCAA basketball brackets has been quite dismal … don’t judge!)

Unfortunately, this year’s fantasy football team ‑ My Grandmthr’s Holocaust Ring … gold star to me for coming up with that one, btw ‑ is currently 1-3 with little to no hope of improving.  And we’re not talking, “Oh, I’ve lost a couple of close ones” bad.  We’re talking 1-3, blown out of the water, suck.  And to be perfectly frank, I didn’t see this coming.

How much of a departure is this from my previous history?  Well, right after our draft, I had the opportunity to catch up with an old law school classmate and good friend.  Over the course of the conversation, he said, “I told my wife you were on your way to your FFB draft [when you called last night] and she asked why you weren’t in the same league as me.  I told her it was because you always beat us.”  I kid you not.  That happened.

The other reason I’m taking this particularly hard is that I had the first pick of the draft.  I’m going to let that sink in for a second … THE FIRST PICK!!!!  Yes, I retardedly passed on Adrian Peterson to make the only homer pick I’ve ever made – Lfitz – but I primarily blame the 90 second limit on draft selections.

90 seconds.  That’s all.  The upside?  We finished a 10 team, 16 round draft in just under an hour.  If you’ve played FFB before, you know that’s unprecedented.  The downside?  Everyone essentially just takes the best player available because there’s no time to analyze everyone else’s picks, block moves by other managers or even assess your own team’s roster as you move through the draft.  So now, I have a team that by all accounts excelled in 2008, but has been a veritable no-show in 2009.  Would I be undefeated had I selected Peterson?  If I had had more time to talk myself into stupid picks?  If half of my roster hadn’t gotten hurt in the pre-season? Maybe.  Maybe not.  All I know is that I’m sitting here with the same record as the Detroit Lions and with virtually no hope of making the playoffs.

With apologies to Jim Mora … “PLAYOFFS??!?!  Don’t talk to me about playoffs!  Are you kidding me?? I just hope [I] can win a game!”

*Sigh*  I guess in fantasy football even the best players have off years… that’s certainly the case for my FFB roster.

*Author Note: My lone win came in week 4.  So, after a perfectly abysmal start, things might finally be looking up after some tweaking to the roster.  Given the way things are going, though, I’m not taking my hand of the panic button quite yet.

B-T-dub: I would like to thank AA for inviting me to write my very first blog post.  I’m so glad you shared your blog with me and that you’ve introduced me to the Pittsburgh social media crowd.  Here’s to many more years of writing about rugby, Little C and whatever else comes your way!   ~CPG




One response

10 10 2009

Hmmm, I don’t know about your 90 second theory. I have never participated in a FF draft before and was basically clueless while making my picks and I’m 3-1 currently. Of course, I was bummed that you took LFitz, because I would have grabbed him with my first pick!
Good luck tomorrow!

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