Motivation, and thanks.

5 10 2011

Most of my motivation to go back to school has to do with myself and my family.

I want a job that I will love*, that I will be proud to do, and I want my family to be proud of me.

So I started school again, and we’re just about half-way through the semester. (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I FEEL LIKE I JUST STARTED YESTERDAY!)

The support of my family has been awesome. (Thank you, so much.)

Some other friends who have had A&P in the past have been awesome, willing to help and offering to help me in any way they can! (Thanks, all of you!)

And my sister, a former A&P HS teacher, has been invaluable with her tips & tricks & ideas to help me. (Love you for that, Lili!)

But I now have more motivation.

When I show up for work, usually someone I work with, or a regular, will ask me how school is going. My reply is usually, “It’s very tough, but I’m working really hard!” Their questioning how it’s going? Means the world to me. Really.

And when something kind of important (to me) happens, I usually post it to my personal Facebook or Twitter account… And sometimes I get a “like” or comment here or there, but lately I’ve been getting more “likes” and comments. Even comments from my mom. Even “likes” from NE (who is SUPER BUSY at his job right now, so that counts x10).

And I have to tell you, these questions, comments and “likes” from my friends – and Family – really are motivating me so much more than when I started.

I want to be able to tell them I did well…  My parents, Lili and NE, and my friends.

So, thank you, friends, co-workers and family. For making me want this so much more than I did 5 weeks ago. Your support and encouragement mean more to me than I could ever tell you.

*side note: I started my clinical observation (40 hrs of observation this semester) today and I TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. I spent 90% of the day in the ER x-ray room, with a 2nd year student and a tech. I cannot wait till I can do what the 2nd year students do! (Thank you to the tech, and the 2nd yr student I was with. I learned a TON! Thanks, guys!) I appreciate it!

I’m still trying to figure out how to explain what I’m going to school for to Little C, when she saw her Papa and Grandpa Bob in the hospital, Lili said they were at the doctor’s. Hopefully she’ll be older when I have to explain this… As long as I say “I love you” and she blows me kisses via phone, I’m good with it. (I totally caught those kisses on my face, btw.)

Thankfully, when G-man is old enough for me to explain my job, it will probably be easier! (Here’s to hoping that neither of them have x-rays between now & then.)

The wheels on the bus…

27 09 2011

I have lived in Pittsburgh for my entire life, save for a year or so after I was born, and my years at Ohio U.

Sunday night was the very FIRST time I rode a PAT bus on my own. I was terrified.

I’ve only ever rode the busses here in the ‘Burgh with my friend, Nix. She KNOWS the busses. (I also asked her what bus & what time to get home from So Side, after I consulted the schedule. And I asked another co-worker. I was *that* freaked out.)

I’ve rode the subway and busses in Toronto and Montreal with less fear than I had tonight…

Why did I have to ride the bus? Well, there was something wrong with my Cobalt.

It started Friday on the way to work. At a stop sign, where I stopped fully, I noticed my speedometer showed I was still driving at 10MPH. Uh, no, I wasn’t.

I wrote it off as crazy Chevy stuff (things have happened kind of like that with my last three Chevy’s, so yeah…)

And on the way home, on a down hill, I hit the gas and nothing happened…  I had to pull over, stop  and re-start the car to get home… Still with the same issues.

But then on Saturday, the MPH when from 10 to 5 to 25 to 15 to 35… But it only happened a few times. Not always.

I was terrified to drive Sunday night to work. But I couldn’t NOT work, so Cboy and his lovely picked me up on their way to the South Side from the Pgh Zoo.

(Side note: I’m totally jealous of Cboy and his lovely. They had a great day at the zoo and saw more than I’ve ever seen!!!! Yay for them. Also, thank you.)

I got to work so early, that even Viking commented that I was even earlier than usual. (I’m ALWAYS early for work. Always. But this was definitely earlier than normal.)

And then, since we were so not busy at work, I took a bus home, the 54C, all by myself. I thought I had to walk from 22nd to 18th to get the bus, but I had an inkling that the 54C stopped outbound at 22nd… Many thanks to the nice girl who works at The Library in So Side for helping me when I asked her about the bus. And also to her to telling me that the bus ran late on Sundays, and would be there in maybe 10 minutes at one point. So. Helpful.

I didn’t have to pay for my ride, the fare thingy box was broken.

I called the dealership around 9am on Monday. They said since I didn’t have an appointment, I’d have to leave it or wait. Uh, I don’t have people (aka my parents when they lived here) to pick me up, so I have to wait. My “assigned” guy said it could be up to 5 hrs.

He reinforced this when I actually got there around 10 or 11am… I again told him I didn’t care, I had homework to do, and had no one to pick me up.  I was willing to sit, do my homework, and wait…

He seemed perturbed. But that isn’t my problem.

The only issue is the temporary waiting area at Baierl. No television as before. And the magazine selection? Hunting, guns, wine and cigars. Where am I???? West Virginia? Plus a single copy each of: Redbook, Good Houskeeping and Consumer Reports… Good lord.

I at first,  sat next to a woman who was filing her nails. No, I’m wrong, she was FILING HER NAILS LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. In the Baierl Chevy waiting area. I removed myself from her to sit by a nice man at a table. He was kind, and wished me an early reprieve from the dealership.

The dealership fixed up my car. It wasn’t my fuel pump. Thank god, since I’ve heard many horror stories on fuel pumps. It was just corroded electrical connections, which, apparently, many other Cobalt owners have had issues with.

I have missed hours of library time this weekend because of this car. (okay, also because Viking added a Friday shift for me, but still) The same issue will plague me this coming weekend. At least I seem to have a working vehicle…

Dear gray Cobalt, I know I have no name for you, as I had for the past 5+ cars I have owned, but I love you. I really do. I do enjoy driving you, and littering you as I please…  Please make this up to me and be the bestest car ever….


14 06 2011

I’m in love.

With work. No, really.

I totally love working at My Living Room again. Honestly, more than I ever did before. I’m so happy when I work. I have no idea why…. (Well, I have some idea, it has nothing to do with My Living Room, but I won’t share it here.)

(And, to be honest, how happy and pleasant I am with people, sometimes confuses even me…)

I love every shift I have. I love my co-workers. Each and EVERY one of them.

Last week? I worked almost 40 hours… Almost.

I haven’t worked a 40-hour week since October 2009! And you know what? I had NO IDEA I worked nearly 40 hours. It felt like a 15-20 hour work week to me. When I worked the desk job 40 hours a week, I knew it. And it sucked. Big time.  (Now, I know I’m not meant for desk jobs. heh.)

Nothing stressful, nothing bad, no one to yell at, nothing at all negative. I LOVE IT.

I love that I work days sometimes. I love that I work nights, and especially Sunday nights. (I can’t point out why I love Sundays, exactly, but I do love my Sunday nights) I also love that I work mid-day shifts.

I love that I’m now trusted to watch over shifts. It’s taken forever, and I kind of know why, and it’s not why I’d like it to be, but I’m happy I’m finally trusted at that level.

I also love that I’m doing kitchen prep. Seriously, I could do that for 12 hours a day. I don’t know why. I enjoy slicing veggies, apparently.

I really, just love my job right now. I really, really love it. Love it.

I’m so lucky to have a job where I love it. So. Dang. Lucky.

Thanks, Living Room.

What I also love? Friends from other bars who frequent My Living Room. AKA some of the regs.. They are amazing and awesome, and nice. I wish I could get out more and see those people in their bars… Eventually.

This is going to be a great summer, just based on WORK! No, really. WORK. (Not even pool time.)

Sad news.

28 05 2010

I was at Birthday Girl & Giggles’s place tonight for a cookout and got a phone call from Dilbert. He was relaying a message with some sad news.

Zotter the Potter, a long-standing regular at My Living Room passed away today.


Zotter’s studio and home was across the street from My Living Room. He was such a nice guy. And an incredibly talented potter. His gifts were purchased by many people, all over the world. I bought his wedding crock for a friend’s wedding and my sister and her husband.

One Christmas, he made all of the female employees at My Living Room tiny little versions of the wedding crock. I loved mine. I took it into work and used it as a pen holder on my desk.

It’s going to be very strange to walk into My Living Room again and know there’s no chance of Zotter being there.

Zotter, we’ll miss you.


20 04 2009

What does 80 minutes of rugby + hanging out at My Living Room + a Sunday baseball game equal? Me feeling like I was hit by a truck & in a complete state of exhaustion. Wow.

I played a full 80 minutes on Saturday. Which I usually try to avoid. Like the plague. BUT this time I played 2nd row. 2nd row!! My “dream” positon! I guess I did okay, I’m not sure. I scored a try and made it through the game, so I will count this as a success.

As we were leaving the field, I got a surprise visit from UncleCrappy & MrsCrappy, who were just returning from a trip to Athens, Ohio. I’m so very jealous… But they stopped by to drop off a gift they picked up for me. A gift that is so totally cool I can’t even explain it. You’ll see what it is in a bit, when Uncle Crappy makes a 2nd appearance in the weekend’s festivities…

I spent the rest of the evening at My Living Room with my teammates. I should have spent the evening in bed sleeping, but whatever. I ended up picking up a sewing job – making curtains for a friend. Sweet!

UncleCrappy came down to visit and hang out with FF and I… Always a fun time. But this time he managed to somehow get me to do something I’ve never done and swore I would never do. An Irish Car Bomb.


And we have a photo to commemorate the occasion… That’s me choking down said car bomb. It wasn’t awful. Just not something I’ve ever done. And I’m pretty sure I was still feeling the effects of it during the day Sunday. Do you see that shirt I’m wearing??? THAT is what the Crappys brought back from Athens for me. I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am for that shirt and how awesome it is.

I managed to somehow drag my butt out of bed and get down to the baseball game on Sunday. I didn’t watch much of the game, but I did get to witness some ridiculous drama. Rough. And that’s all we’ll say about that.

Thanks to my mom and the wonderful Calipanthergrl, I’ve met and EXCEEDED my goal for the March of Dimes. I know, $50 wasn’t much to hope for, but I appreciate their generosity. If you’re feeling generous, click on the image below and donate a few more bucks to the cause! Or join me!

The Return

16 04 2009

I know you’re all reading that thinking, “Oh, good, she got her laptop back!” Unfortunately, that is not the case. However it seems they are having a little more success than we had last weekend.

The Return I’m talking about is my return to My Living Room. I couldn’t post about it because of the laptop… And I know a lot of you were wondering how it went. Well, the first one went well enough that I went back again 2 days later.

I decided to stop in last Thursday when the teams would be there after practice. I’m not going to lie, I was nervous. But I pulled up a barstool and talked to some friends. At some point, I saw that the table behind me was literally covered in glasses, bottles & plates. In the past, this would have caused me to get up & clean up the mess. But this time? I swear I didn’t even give it a second thought. A little while later I realized that I let that little issue slide, and also that I had been at the bar for a while by then and hadn’t even noticed the “little” things I always did. A definite mark in the “Win” column.

I went back again on Saturday after the men’s game. And the same sort of thing happened – I just didn’t notice the things I did in the past. But there was one MAJOR change that I really noticed. I had FUN. Soooo much fun. All. Night. Long. I can’t even remember the last time I had fun & joked around and socialized that much at the bar. Nothing annoyed me. It was awesome!! Now, the barstools are still craptastic & falling apart – BUT that is no longer my problem… unless one of them breaks while I’m sitting on it and I get to sue the bar…

You may recall that some friends said that they were looking forward to seeing me smile more if I didn’t work at the bar… And honestly, I didn’t expect that to come true for them. But it seems that it has.

There was only one glitch in my awesome Saturday. I wandered through the bar and there was Viking – who sadly still has yet to SPEAK to me since this whole thing started. I thought he had left for the night, and I immediately turned around and high-tailed it to my seat.

I spoke to BG a little while later and was informed that Viking feels bad and she asked if I’d go to dinner with her, Giggles & Viking. I think I said no before she finished her question.

You know what? If Viking feels so bad? Maybe he should have picked up the phone and CALLED ME. Maybe he should have been a better friend & co-worker and SPOKEN to me. Maybe he should have shown me significantly more RESPECT than he has. But he didn’t do ANY of those things. He stayed silent and cowardly and I hope that he is left out there to feel bad for a lot longer. And I hope it bothers him.

Because me? As much as I would love to tell him off, I’m going to be too busy having fun and smiling and not noticing all those stupid little things.

What to do… What to do?

7 04 2009

I’m trying to figure out how to handle my return to My Living Room. And when to do so… And I’m looking for input.

Based on the support of certain ruggers, I feel like I should be right back into the swing of things. Why? Because I no longer have to worry about the bar, their behavior in the bar, or having to work there ever again. And because some of them commented that it will be nice to see me smile now. And honestly, after reviewing what I “used” to do for the club & bar, and what I now do, there’s no reason I shouldn’t go there and have the time of my life.

The “situation” that led to my not working there & those involved in telling me do NOT make me interested in going there… They handled it badly. Perhaps against all employment laws, but still, I’m hurt by their evasion. I don’t want to give that bar any more money than minimally possible. But then I want to go and be that patron that doesn’t tip well, but doesn’t tip as bad as some people.

I’m honestly ok with not working there. Working a 9-5 and then working till 4am every other weekend was hard on me. Physically, emotionally… I wanted to find a way out of it, and being forced out, has led me in other directions, so I hope it works out & I make it happen. I’m also EXCITED that the next time the ruggers decide to venture to other bars or on a bar crawl – I can GO. I don’t have to stay behind to work. Or stay behind because it’s what I “do.” I won’t do that anymore. I may not be able to afford it many times, but I’ll make it as much as possible.

I also want to want to go there for my social media friends. Those who walked in, fell in love with it, and met me there every time I went there. Working or not. They loved that place, as I still do (for different reasons, now), and it kills me to take that away from me and them.

This all comes up because apparently everyone goes there on Thursdays. And this Thursday is the night before Good Friday, when many of us don’t have to work. I can still, to this day, remember my first night before Good Thursday, 7 years ago. It was fun. And dang if I don’t have to work on Friday and kinda want to hang out…

I’d like to prove those who were jerks to me wrong. I’d like to find a way to be bigger than them, better than them. To figure out a way that I can go there, along with all my friends, and then go where ever we want to… home, another bar, but spend just a small time there. Does that make sense?

A friend left a comment yesterday that made me really feel what I already was starting to feel. Embrace what is coming next. It may be a blessing. He said what I felt behind the bar cannot be replaced, and honestly, I’m not sure right now that I want that. I want what the new things I’m doing to replace that. Because it’s different.

And, honestly, I want to go there so I can watch the deterioration of what I worked on, and while I might be upset by it, it will NOT be my fault, and I will be laughing my ass off at what they turned away.

So what do you think? When should I go back? And when do you want to go back with me in force?

Good thing blogging is free…

24 03 2009

You all know I work at My Living Room and have done so for the better part of nearly 8 years. I work there because I don’t live paycheck to paycheck from my “real” job – I live paycheck to tips to paycheck to make ends meet. I NEED that job.

And then today I get a phone call. From Asshat of all people. I call him back and long story short, I have ONE shift left and then I’m basically fired. Apparently my shitty Saturday shift is “great.” And there are others there who deserve my shift. Excuse me? I’ve worked there for nearly 8 years. I’ve been treated like crap, never given a raise, dealt with all of Asshat’s issues that the management doesn’t know about… and they do this to me???

Well guess what? Shit’s hitting the fans kids. Not only am I making all hell break loose in my own way (more on that in a week or two or three), but my last night will be a rugby, social media and Living Room train-wreck-crazy-ass-drunken-dowhatyouwant-circus. You want to throw me away? Go right ahead. I’ll make you regret it. Because I intend to have NOTHING to do with that place after that night.That Mug Club? Whoever takes it over? Good luck figuring that shit out. It’s a damn mess. But not my problem anymore.

I’ve said it before, I was so welcomed by the Yinz Team and everyone I’ve met online and in person through social media things. And I’ve taken them to My Living Room and made sure they felt welcome so that they would come back again and again. And many of them have. Even when I haven’t been there! Many of the Yinz Teamers have also welcomed my rugby teammates that they have met. With open arms and minds. LOVE IT!! And tonight when I sent a rant to Twitter, I immediately received a few replies and a few DM’s… I explained what happened and the response? Overwhelming that my friends would all be there for my last night. And also that some of them wouldn’t go there if I wasn’t there.

I’m incredibly sad about the thought of not working there. So much so that I’m shocked… Partially because of the money issue. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ve had some good ideas and opportunities sent to me. And I’ll be honest, it’s one less thing that ties me to the Burgh and used to make me not up & move to Florida… But it’s more so because this new group of people that I convinced My Living Room was OK really ended up LIKING being there…

Most of the “regulars’ at the bar disappear during rugby season. But you know what? I know a few of the Yinz Teamsers were there last weekend while 99% of the women’s team and some of the men’s team was there. Whoo boy… But they were FINE. Regulars? They leave. Yinz Teamers? They stick with it.

I really, really thank my Tweet friends and Yinz Team friends for their messages and support tonight. I didn’t need this right now… I have a huge tournament to run on Saturday. Not that Asshat cares….

You know what really sucks? Sending out this to Twitter, Plurk and my rugby Yahoo groups: Last Shift at My Living Room: Sat April 4th. BE THERE. HANG FROM THE CEILING. I WON’T CARE,  but NO fights. JUST BE THERE AND HAVE FUN.


Don’t poke the bear…

18 01 2009

So tonight I attempted to make it to the Yinz Team bowling event. But when I hit Washington Rd./Rt. 19 after the Liberty Tunnel, I discovered that getting going from a stop light  up a hill wasn’t really working for me… And driving all the way to almost the South Hills Village Mall was NOT happening. So I turned around and headed to where I expected to end my night, My Living Room.

And it was a fun night, but the best part is that I learned something about myself that I’ve never, ever been told before. Something I never actually expected to hear… I am apparently more scary than a Marine Drill Sargeant. How funny, sad, awesome, scary, amazing, spectacular, a disaster is that?!?!?!

I didn’t mention it before, but the reason that I, personally, went to My Living Room after our Skating Adventure was to see my friend, the Marine… He entered boot camp a while back and that was his first night home for a week before he heads back out… He’s always been kinda fun to have in My Living Room – he’s always offered to help with things, and he’s always begging me for matches or a lighter, which i refuse to give him – and he really likes hanging out there, so I wanted to be the first person to buy a beer for him there. And I did.

Tonight was his last night in town, and he was heading back to MyLiving Room. I fully intended to go there after bowling… but I ended up there earlier. The Marine showed up and after a while, he asked if I’d be mad if he took his shirt off… To his benefit, he has apparently undergone an amazing weight loss… I respect that, but we have a strict, non-publicized, no nakedness policy in My Living Room, so I told him no. Thankfully, a stern look from me and repitition of his name will make him change his mind… Funny… or so I thought.

Right as I was leaving, the Marine decided to share… a story I will now try to repeat… At one point during his basic training, the drill sergeant asked him if he was scary or something and our Marine replied that no one was scarier than this bartender back home at My Living Room — meaning me… The drill sergeant made him do 200 push ups. The Marine told me it was worth it, because I truly was scarier than the drill sergeant.

(many thx to @chachisays for the musical selection! I *heart* Clutch)

I’m not going to lie… that made me grin like crazy and I may have even jumped up and down. Ok, maybe I did a little victory dance too…

But this brings me to tricky situation… I’m not so happy that I’m scarier than a drill sergeant. Really… However, if I made boot camp a tiny bit easier for the Marine, then I’m cool with it. For now… But honestly, if you know me truly, you know I’m not that scary… I’m really just like an M & M. A hard shell with a softy center…


Living dead girl…

15 01 2009

Perhaps that’s what I am… Who knows… I’m more brain-dead and worn out over the past few days than I was in the past 2 years of working for The Organization. Part of this is just that it’s winter and the sun doesn’t exist and when I talk to the Floridians, they complain of the cold 60 degree weather… Yeah, that’s cold. Sure.

The other part comes from some people thinking they know how I am – whether I am burnt out from the work I do or not. Maybe I am just busy and it seems I’m burnt out?? Maybe you should freaking ASK ME?!?! Personally, I think I am the best judge of that, thankyouverymuch…

As a result of these people’s assumptions, my WTF reaction, my relationship with BirthdayGirl is a big pile of you-know-what right now… I know some Org people read this, but really, I’m disappointed that people did not put off a meeting where certain people should have been involved and that they did not include me in decisions involving one of the two events I agreed to plan for them. If I can’t make a freaking meeting, and you’ve got to have it, is it so hard to call me or text me? It’s not like I don’t text people back immediately. Or in the least, send me an update a few days later? Seriously… I know I wasn’t intentionally excluded and such, but I can’t be expected to clean up the bombs that go off as a result of decisions that are not my own… Am I wrong? Eff. This has me pissed. Makes me wish I hadn’t given up my uber-stressful involvement… That’s a lie, my giving up that shit has allowed me to some kick-ass things recently like participate in the Polar Bear thing and go skating last weekend…

Thanks for listening to my bitching… I just needed to vent a bit and just let it all out before I call someone and freak out or cause some kind of scene in My Living Room when they show up next.

Anyway, I’ve also been working on my niece/nephew baby quilt… Which I can now talk about here since I showed the plans to my sister at Christmas. The big ol’ middle part is completely put together… this weekend I’ll add the front top and bottom pieces and then attempt to put the whole dang thing together. This is scary territory… but it’s a learning experience, so it will be fun!

Once this one is done, I’m moving onto my awesome idea for quilt #2… It’s really quite nifty. And I’m really excited to get working on it… But more on that later…


I seriously cannot wait… even though I’ve created a LOST monster in @Chachisays…. oops, my bad, folks…